Otters still deadly as ever.

I think I speak for everyone when I say that the only thing scarier than zombies is otters. Something about those big black eyes, their built in grins, or their complete disregard for how mammals are supposed to act. WE DON'T SWIM YOU LITTLE BASTARDS AND IF YOU CAN'T ABIDE BY THE LAWS OF NATURE THEN YOU CAN GET THE HELL OUT! So, there was a story on NPR today that chronicled one reporter's close encounter with one of the furry little demon-spawns. It was cleverly titled "Otterly Adorable", probably by PETA, to direct your attention away from the deadly nature of these animals. You will notice that I took some artistic liberties in quoting the article to ensure that you got the real essence of it.

"Because my curiosity and affection for animals almost always overrides my fear...the giant otter [possibly zombified] paused in his lolling around, raised his head and stared briefly at me in what I realized too late was a direct threat...I withdrew my hand and pulled both arms in close to my body. But it was too late. His big, flat head lashed out like a snake's, and those fearsome jaws closed around my right wrist...These things grow to 6 feet and 70 pounds; chew the heads off piranhas [also people], open up turtles with those jaws. One nip, and it was over"

Now, I can't say that I really actually read through the article carefully, nor can I claim that I know exactly how it ended per say but I think it's a safe assumption that the aforementioned reporter is dead. Another addition to the floating morgue of death (not redundant) that otters maintain in earth's waterways. So I beseech thee friends, be wary. Otters are man's natural enemy. They weave a tapestry of death on a rocking chair of terror and I don't want any of you to fall under their needle.

P.S. If you want to read the original article, here it is. Be warned though, it is full of half-truths and blatant misrepresentations.